Bored with Ikea furniture and deep pile carpet? Fancy doing something
you've seen in a style magazine, but without wasting a whole weekend on
it? It's your lucky, lucky day! Top designers from BBC's Changing
Rooms who need no formal introduction, including
Scottish Woman and
The Twat With
The Hair, share their top tips below to transform your drab and dowdy,
squalid little abodes into havens of seventies-style sophistication and
- Glue strips of tin foil to some scrap cardboard and use a staple
gun to hang each piece from the ceiling. This creates wonderful light
effects and does not at all resemble a cheap restaurant in Chinatown.
- Salvage some scrap metal items from your local junkyard, spray them
puke puce and nail them to the walls for that arty
feel. If you use some nice sharp bits, it will stop the kids leaning on
the walls and making them dirty too!
- From the same junkyard, grab some large pieces of corrugated sheet
metal, paint them lime green and cobalt blue, and leave them in the garden
to break up wide spaces and enhance interactivity levels! Remember to
warn the binmen not to take them away.
- Paint effects: don't stick to your boring roller and brush! Try
applying paint with the back of the cat, then create stippled patterns in
it with your tongue.
- Cover passé pine floors and walls with gallons of cheap paint in
bright, happy colours! We often use this technique to give a whole new
look within the two hours of filming available. It always creates a stir,
especially when people discover how little effort is involved.
- Use MDF offcuts to break up boring straight edges, by gluing them
randomly to the sides of conventional furniture. Breathe in plenty of the
dust while cutting it and you'll be convinced of what a marvellous
difference this makes!
- Don't be afraid to reuse themes and fashions from the past in
startling and creative new ways. Formica, coloured glass tiles, flush
panelling...they can all make your room a real talking point (amongst
dope-smoking hippies). Enhance the effect by wearing flares.
- Don't be afraid to cut corners. Obviously, you can use decent timber
and drill and screw everything together properly...or you can staple and
glue sheets of cheap MDF! No one will know, especially if you're
aiming to sell up within a month (two months if you use more glue).
- Let Carol Smillie do some of the work. While she's busy chattering
and not looking what she's doing, she's bound to lend an unusual and
unique finish to whatever she's working on, particularly when the
jigsaw goes through two of her own fingers.
- Swap houses with your neighbours for a day. Just think of the amazing
new look you could give their dining room - with the aid of a sledgehammer
and a welding torch! They won't dare trim your rosemary bush again!
Meanwhile, they'll be ready to surprise you by decorating your
lounge walls with an intricate mosaic of spray-painted "KEEP THE FUCKING
NOISE DOWN!" murals.
- Demolish your house and go live in a tent! It might be a little
cramped but at least you won't have to spend every evening watching
arseholes with trendy ideas wrecking other people's houses.