Airshed A960x

Release Notes for Version 2.0

Airshed Conglomerates

Revision: 2.3a
Date: 1st Sept 1998
Part no.: A-960x-Not60/320


Congratulations on taking delivery of the latest Airshed A960x! The A960x is the world's most advanced civilian jet air transportation unit, based on leading edge fly-by-wire technology. With care and regular maintenance, your A960x will give you years of class actions troublefree flying.

Before using your new aircraft, we recommend spending some time to become familiar with the contents of both the A960x Users Guide (supplied separately in CD-ROM and glossy in-flight magazine formats) and these release notes. These notes contain important information for all A960x users, whether this is your first A960x model or you are replacing a previous version and can still afford the insurance premiums.

Typographical conventions used in this manual




Bold face

Console warning message

Emergency crashing landing procedure commen...

Italic face

Exclamation of fear and surprise

"Omigod, we're all going to die!!"

STOP!! Before proceeding further, you should check that your airline insurance policy provides sufficient cover while flying this aircraft. In particular, you should verify that it explicitly includes cover for "major and significant loss of civilian life due to equipment failure". If it does not specify this cover, you must ground the A960x and must not proceed further until you are in a position to afford the additional premiums.

Installing A960x software

The A960x operating system and supporting utilities, including the graphical Microsoft Flytm user interface, are supplied on a single ISO9660 formatted CD-ROM. To install the software, insert the CD-ROM into the drive located in the centre of the main flight panel (above the coffee cup holder - if the tray refuses to retract, that is the coffee cup holder) and type:

C> D:\setup

This will start the installation assistant. Select the options you require from the modules screen.

Note: The Basic Flight Capability option is a core module and must be selected to ensure successful operation. A future release of the installer will disable deselection of this module.

Once you have finished selecting the options you require, use the joystick to move the target crosshair selector and click the Finish button.

Installation will be completed in 3-4 hours. You should use this time to review chapter 1 of the Users Guide, entitled "Basic Flying Tutorial".

Problems fixed in this release

The following problems have been corrected in this release. If you are using an older release of the A960x software, you should upgrade immediately to the current version. (Note: there is no upgrade path for Version 1.0 as we are not aware of any users remaining alive.)

Known problems and incompatibilities

The following are a list of known problems and workarounds with this release. Airshed Conglomerates expects to fix these problems in a future release of the A960x software.

Reporting problems

Before contacting Airshed Conglomerates with problem reports, you should verify that you have followed all the relevant troubleshooting procedures in the Users Guide (Appendix B, pp. 612-1345). If the problem persists, contact the Airshit Support Line and have the following information ready:

While speaking to our operatives, please avoid screaming in terror and babbling incoherently as this has occasionally upset our support personnel in the past.

Note: Due to limited resources, flights by unqualified civilians are unsupported. Do not call requesting to be talked down as we are unable to provide this service. Advise all crew members to avoid use of the phrase "Does anyone on board know how to fly an airplane?!"

End Of Life statements

"We are not aware of any problems with the A960x and reaffirm that this tragic accident was due purely to pilot error. A full investigation will be conducted in due course."

"I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather. Not screaming in terror like his passengers." - Jack Handey.

1st September 1998

Big Bubbles (no troubles)