Big Bubbles (no troubles)

What sucks, who sucks and you suck

This Is Just Hilarious

This is just hilarious, the apotheosis of breathless, clueless and brainless Internet journalism. That it comes from the Grauniad is a little saddening, but we guess they have to employ someone to fill the pages of their little supplement.

Apparently: > “The last time hackers declared war against government, massive denial of service attacks were launched against the White House website, which had to close down for a day. The FBI website also had to shut down for several hours as defences were rebuilt.” Think of the web sites, won’t somebody think of the web sites?! My ghod, the unbelievably studly and awesome power that these crazed hackers wield! Why on earth does the USA keep boasting about its military superiority when they have this 3l33t underground who can stop entire web sites working?! I mean, advanced missiles are all very well for taking out enemy bus stations and the odd foreign embassy, but those hacker dudes could dismantle the entire western economy in just 24 … decades! Quail at their terrifying abilities: > “It then automatically uninstalls any firewall around that computer or network, replacing it with malicious code that completely wipes the hard disk.” My ghod, none of our home pages are safe!!

BB is equally astounded that a national broadsheet could run with this donkey crap. Here’s the story in a nutshell: FBI makes typically cackhanded bureaucratic attempts to catch a few script kiddies; socially inadequate misfits flex puny muscles and say “Oh yeah?! We’re so hard and mean! Watch me break Yahoo! MOOOM, THE MAN’S TAKING MY PC AWAY!!”

We can just imagine writer Steve Bell (the cartoonist? shurely not) doing that Tommy Vance dramatic advert voice to himself as he typed the last words: “…when hackers decide to act, they can hit out - and they can hit out hard.“If we’re talking “hacks”, Steve, you definitely da man.