Big Bubbles (no troubles)

What sucks, who sucks and you suck

Commonwealth Bullshit

  • The IRA bomb “ripped the heart out of the city.”
    The IRA bomb destroyed the Arndale Centre and an outdated and rather ugly M&S store. If we’re talking body parts, these were more like the bladder or the arse of the city. To our shame, we rebuilt the Arndale. And the new M&S store consists entirely of that well-known bombproof material, sheet glass.
  • We’re all “mad fer” the Games.
    BB can tell you now, the prevailing vibe among all but the few delusional souls acting as volunteers is “Oh, bloody ‘ell! ‘Ow much is this costin’ us? Can we still get to work? Bloody rush hour’s goin’ to be ‘ell. And why’s the council closed me local baths?!”
  • Manchester doesn’t have homeless people or urban squalor.
    …Because the police kicked out all the beggars last week and the council kindly refurbished all the council houses lining the main routes a while back. But only externally; the internal damp is still rampant. And they didn’t bother with the properties behind the ones facing the roads.
  • The volunteer programme was heavily oversubscribed.
    Right, which is why the council has been touting for an extra 150 volunteers among its own workforce - after all, what else would social workers and benefit office staff have to do while the Games are on?
  • Russell Watson is a nice young man
    During rehearsals, Russell Watson demanded that his backing choir, who had been practising their contribution for months, either sing quietly or, even better, mime so as not to drown out his golden tones.

One good thing we can still say about Mancunians: we’re not easily impressed.