What sucks, who sucks and you suck
- Tories promise to impale bogus asylum seekers on spikes along Beachy Head “as a warning to others”
- Enraged Prescott kills three, injures twelve before capture.
Tory candidate sustains collateral damage. RSPCA marksman praised for saving school.
- Widdecombe looks forward to gender swap, marrying Portillo
- Blair promises renationalisation, redistribution while reading from Socialist Labour Party manifesto in sarcastic tone.
- Blair promises “hands-on” involvement in NHS revival.
Kills man during bungled heart surgery.
- Blair: promises, promises
- Lib Dems complain about “media disinterest” or something.
Charles Thingy says, “Blah, blah”.